23 September 2007

raw materials

Earlier today, we returned to Cambridge in record time (a 3 1/2 hours drive from Jackson Heights - it was great!) from a weekend with the family, and I am feeling all sorts of raw and awful. It really does my head in to be around them for more than 24 hours, which is sad because I love my folks. I love spending time with my nephew, and I cherish time with my sister. I wish I saw her more often, actually. My sister and I are very different people with different styles and interests, but we balance each other out and in many ways complement each other. There are times when she is the voice of reason for me, and vice versa. We weren't born friends, and for years there was bratty-ness, the usual teenage angst, and a bitter sibling rivalry fueled by our mother constantly comparing us to one another. As we got older, we nurtured our relationship and have become extremely supportive of each other. I adore my sister and have a tremendous amount of respect for her. It's just hard to be around our mother sometimes. I know our mother loves me; I know she's a sweet and sensitive person. I know she has the best of intentions. But the hurt that stands between us is too thick to breach. It feels like the damage is irreparable. I don't know how to fix it and all I want to do is move on. I feel so thrown off track right now. I can't believe that the Open Studio was only last weekend. I have been puttering around the studio with tons to do but not knowing quite where to start because I'm just so... spent? Exhausted? Emotionally drained? All of the above?

I can't wait to begin my week and immerse myself in my work, my home, my friendships, and all of the things I love again. I have been piling fabric, planning new projects, and cutting pieces in preparation for work tomorrow. Because after all, tomorrow is another day (and I hear it's only a cliché away ;-) ).


Marisa said...

Your fawn fabric is to die for. I just got the same thing...I am planning another little boy quilt...looking forward to seeing your latest creations. Best of luck w/ the start of a new week.

kris said...

ahh, family. can't live with them, can't live without them. (just to follow up on your cliché theme here...) i can so relate.

Ashley said...

Oof. I feel ya on the family stuff. At least you have cute deer fabric!

sarah said...

You sound like you might need and hug and I'm all squishy and huggable, so I thought I'd offer one up... a virtual one, anyway.


knittingphilistine said...

Yup, the deer fabric. Luuurve.

PS: Any news on Hammy the photogenic mini mantis? I'm going through serious softie withdrawl over here. :)