Vague enough for ya? Nevermind, I just couldn't think of a title for today's post because, well, I'm not feeling very inspired. Maybe I'm just lazy. Perhaps I should have taken that wee break right after the Open Studio. Maybe I should have gone to Seattle for Plush You! and hung out a few days. (By the way, I didn't go because I messed up the date on the ticket. Huge resounding DOH! over here. I now have credits to use up so maybe there will be a trip to San Fran next month.) I'm feeling kinda burnt out. Maybe it's the change of season. I don't know. Things are weird nowadays. I would say I am experiencing a case of creative constipation, but that's not it at all. The ideas are flowing freely, and I am filling up pages and pages with them. It's not that I don't have time to work out those ideas. I have plenty of that. Granted, I am not managing my time as well as I could/should/must. I said before that I am not inspired, but I am. Everything I look at gives me an idea for a project, be it quilting, toy-making, or even painting again. So what's happened that has caused production around these parts to come to jerky halt? Everything was running so smoothly. I felt on top of my game, but now I'm sludging through puddles of self-doubt and procrastinating like there's no tomorrow. I swear, every time I look at the 24 critters that are cut and sewn (and only need to be stuffed, seamed, and detailed), I cringe. Feeling daunted? Hell yeah. The very thought of stuffing that many critter parts makes my brain melt. Someone suggested today that I do a few each day to make it easier on myself. I seriously hadn't even thought of that because I've been so eager to get it all done (yet so unwilling to actually do it). I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how people do a limited run of 400 pieces by hand. Do they make them by hand or are they done in a production line/factory with embroidery machines (as well as sewing machines)? Sorry to be so ignorant about this, but I really don't know what they mean. Please tell me that one person doesn't actually cut, embroider & machine-sew then manually stuff, seam, and detail 400 pieces by themselves. Please tell me this is a group effort or mainly factory produced. If not, then I am seriously screwed because I can't even fathom doing 400 pieces here in one go (or something like that). I am not a machine, and doing stuff at that volume would take all the fun out of it for me. Seriously. I like doing the more intricate, hand-detailed softies, but I know that it is unrealistic to think that I could produce them in such volume. I recall something that Stephanie of little birds once said, and really, I cannot say it more succinctly than she has. I don't want to grow disillusioned or bored with this thing that I am trying to do here. I need to redefine what I want to do or maybe just reinvent certain aspects of it. Is this the beginning of a great adventure, or is this just something I am doing for now? Maybe I am over-thinking things. I think I know what I want this to become; I just have to stay focused and not do what I am doing now - floundering.
In other news, Matt has started taking Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes, which sound like a lot of fun, and I am very curious about checking out a class or two myself. It sounds like a great form of self-defense. As it is, he's been teaching me some of the moves he's learned, and we've been play-sparring. We're like Inspector Clouseau and Cato over here. The only thing that is really deterring me from joining him at one of the classes is that it entails a lot of grappling, and the class is all dudes. So I'd be grappling... with some dude.... The feminist in me is dying a little over the fact that I just can't get past that fact and go for it. *sigh*
Anyway, what can I say now? I'll be more focused this week. After all, Bazaar Bizarre is coming up in a month, and I have a ton of commissions to get done, not to mention some more orders that I need to finish.